TOLDOT

Cassandra Federbush, November 9, 2002, 4 Kislev, 5763

Parsha Toldot is about the birth of Esau and Jacob, who are twins born to Rebekah and Isaac. Esau is a skillful hunter and a man of the field while Jacob is the quiet type who prefers to remain among the tents. Isaac favors the outgoing Esau, while Rebekah loves the gentle Jacob. While still young, Esau sells his birthright to Jacob for a pot of stew.

Later, at age forty, Esau brings pain to his parents by marrying two Hittite women. When Isaac is old and near death, Rebekah and Jacob trick him into giving Jacob the special blessing he had intended for Esau. Esau discovers what they have done and vows to kill his brother. Fearing for Jacob's life and wanting that he marry someone from her people in another country, Rebekah persuades Isaac to send Jacob to her brother, Laban. Years later the brothers meet again and Esau reconciles with Jacob.

Most of the commentators on this weeks parsha seem to portray Jacob as essentially good and Esau as essentially bad.

RaDaK says Isaac considered Esau the weaker son because he saw that Esau was "wild," irresponsible, undisciplined, and uncaring about others. Midrash HaGadol says Rebekah had a "mother's intuition "that Jacob had the good wisdom to inherit the leadership of the Jewish people When I read the commentators I realize that we all generally see people in a certain way and ignore actions and behaviors that don't fit with what we expect from them.

Rabbi Pinchus says that Esau and Jacob were like myrtle and a wild rosebush growing side by side. When they had fully grown, one produced a sweet fragrance and the other thorns.

I guess that's my problem with how the commentators look at Jacob and Esau. To me nothing about Jacob and Esau seems as black and white as the commentators make out. They aren't a flowering bush and thorn bush living side by side. They both seem more like roses. Each has both a thorny and flowery part of their personality. You just have to be open minded enough to see both sides. But I guess the commentators, like us all, don't like to see that people are often more complicated than the labels and roles that are placed on them.

When I read the Parsha I see the commentator's perspective about Jacob and Esau's but I also see things they choose to overlook. I see in Esau someone who used his capabilities and skills for plain and simple rewards. Someone who was trusting and used his strength and skills to bring food to the family table for all to enjoy. - It seems all he wanted from life was a full stomach and what was rightfully his.

Even at the end, despite his treatment by his mother and brother, It was Esau the "wild one" who was able to put aside his anger and pain and reconcile.

I can appreciate the commentator's positive viewpoint on Jacob but I also see the negative: The brother who used his talents for cunning purposes that hurt others and served only his own selfish needs; Someone who lied to his dying father and cheated his brother out of his birth right and blessing.

Still the commentators seem to see little wrong in Jacob and look fairly badly on Esau. Why is this so?

Likely because they know that Jacob's descendants are to become future Israelites, while Esau's descendants will become Amalekites and Edomites the bitter enemies of the children of Israel that seek their destruction.

So the commentators look at Jacob and Esau knowing what the future has in store for the generations that follow. Therefore they see a Jacob who shows wisdom and the potential for leadership and a Esau who is wild, irresponsible and selfish.

If it is so easy for me to see the two sides of each brother I wonder why it is so hard for everyone to see both the good and bad parts of Jacob and Esau's personality.

Abravanel says that Isaac was blind and didn't spend a lot of time with Esau and Jacob to know their strengths and weaknesses and to find the good and bad in both his sons.

Perhaps if Rebekah and Isaac had taken A-bra-va-nel's advice to Isaac and tried harder to see things more fairly things might have turned out better in the Parsha for the family - especially Esau. More optimistically -it also might have prevented the bitterness , hatred and violence that their descendants would face between them - even until today.

I think even the Torah- in its wisdom -realizes this potential. Because it not only directs us to - "not hate your brother in your heart"- And to "love your neighbor as yourself" - It also commands us to "not hate an Edomite for he too is your brother", reminding us that there still exists a bond under God between you and your worst enemy.

From all this I conclude that we must always try to find the flowers that hide among the thorns when relating - not only with our family, friends, and neighbors - but also with the Edomite enemies of our own time.

And then perhaps through better understanding and with time we can all start to think and act like true brothers living in a world of Peace.