Rachel Woroner, Bat Mitzva, 23 October, 2004
For my Dvar Torah on Parshat Lech Lecha I have chosen to focus on the topic of "Honesty in dealing with others".
Because of a food shortage in Canaan, Abram and Sarai traveled to Egypt. Fearing that some Egyptian would admire Sarai and harm him, Abram instructed her to say that she was his sister and not his wife. Abram's prediction was correct and while they were in Egypt the Pharaoh saw Sarai and demanded that she come and live in his palace.
G-d then sent plagues upon Egypt punishing Pharaoh for what he did. Pharaoh discovered Sarai's real identity and questioned Abram's actions. He asked, "Why did you not tell me she was your wife?" Then, seeking forgiveness, he sent them away with many gifts. This was an incident in the life of Abram that I was not familiar with before and it surprised me. Because Abram is someone who always listened to G-d, I never thought of him as someone who might lie.
The question that this incident led me to ask was, Was it right for Abram to lie? And is it ever right for us to lie?
The commentators were divided about Abram's conduct in this incident. I chose three different commentaries that I thought were interesting. The first is the 13th century Spanish commentator known as Ramban. Ramban claims that Abram told half the truth because Sarai is in fact his sister, as they had the same father. But Ramban says Abram should have trusted G-d to protect him, and should have told the truth while in Egypt. On the other hand, Radak, a 12th century commentator, tried to find an explanation or an excuse for Abram's behavior. He says that Abram's decision to lie was a way to bid for time until the famine was over so that he and his wife could return safely to Canaan. Seen in this light, Abram's lie was not really so unethical.
Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch, a leading scholar from 19th century Germany, says that Abram lied to protect himself and his wife, and that in fact he was telling the truth because Sarai was the daughter of his father and actually was his sister. Therefore it was the right thing to do.
Ramban writes that what Abram did was a sin. With respect, I disagree with him. I agree more with Hirsch's ideas in that Abram was protecting himself and his wife, so it was okay for him to lie.
This topic can relate to life now in modern times. If you were faced with mortal danger and lying could protect you, you would be justified to lie in order to save yourself and others from harm. In this manner, Abram lied in order to save himself from being harmed.
This topic can also relate to my life today. Thankfully I have never been in a life threatening situation like Abram was, but I know (and I'm sure others have done this as well) that if I receive a gift I don't like I will lie in order to prevent the giver's feelings from being hurt. Is this similar to what (according to Hirsch) Abram did? Yes and no. It is similar in that the lie is intended to achieve a greater good. However the degree of danger (physical harm vs. hurt feelings) is different.
Now that I am an adult Jew, I know I can learn from Abram's behavior. This parsha has taught me about being faced with ethical conflicts; sometimes two things we feel are very important conflict with each other, in this example, the importance of preserving life conflicts with the importance of telling the truth. In another example, our sensitivity to other's feelings may conflict with telling the truth.
Now that I am bat mitzvah I think I must learn to be an adult when it comes to resolving these kinds of conflicts and I must try to be honest in everything I do and with everyone I meet. Being honest is very important but not always that simple and I think we can all learn from Abram that we should avoid lying at all costs, except when facing danger or perhaps when trying to achieve a greater good. These kinds of decisions are not easy and the important thing, I believe, is to be aware of the issue and to always weigh the competing interests in every situation.
Shabbat shalom everyone and have a great day!